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Walking to Paralyzed in Seconds

On September 19th, 2010 I was in a car accident, I lost control of my car, the ground was slick that day. It slide off the road and flipped hitting a tree, my side was crushed my passenger only had a few scratches. I on the other hand was trapped, they had to use the jaws of life to get me out.

Then I was loaded in an ambulance to ride over to life flight who was in a hay field across the road, where I was taken to the Hospital. There I was put through many tests, they found out I had broken many ribs, my scapula's, and my back, paralyzing me at the T10-T11. I then went through a 10 hour surgery to fix my back, and a week from then they had to use some of my rib as well as other things it lasted 8 hours. I spent 64 days in the hospital.

This has been hard on me going from an active horse person to someone in a wheelchair.

Scars make us who we are. :)

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He was more than my best mate

They shall grow not old, as we are left to grow old: Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. At the going down on the sun and in the morning. We will remember them.

The hardest thing I did or ever will do is carry his coffin after spending the last 12 hours of Tony's life with him and getting on a bike to come home from the Gold Coast. We were great mates.

Five months, 26 days ago we were having a drink at the casino on the Gold Coast. Loads of laughs and great company, just a few days before Tony went back to the Middle East for work. He was back home on leave after his first stint for a company importing and distributing stores. I suspect his toxicology report may come back with a reading not much over .05 and the life insurance will not pay out his two young kids (three and five years). Not to mention that they will never see him again or get to know him like I did.

He was a great Dad, better than I had ever imagined him to be. I didn’t see this side of him till he came to live with me about two years before the accident. His marriage had broken down and he was happy to move on and rebuild his life. I was shocked at how easy it was to put all that behind him and start to rebuild. He was very positive and always laughing.

We had a great time living together. He was early 40's and I am late 30's. I looked up to him and I’m sure he admired me in some way, even if we never showed it. We made each other laugh every night we were home. He never stopped laughing at me when I did the hoola-hoop on the Wii. I can still see his face.

The eulogy I wrote made people laugh with all the funny things we did together and at the same time made people cry.

It’s just like the commercial on TV, one day they are here, and then they are gone. It’s all laughs, then it’s all sombre and trying to make sense of it all, questioning every little thing. Staring into space picturing his face and asking why is he gone. Constantly asking why did this happen, thinking how can this stop and not happen to anyone else. But it is a lot worse than that. It's that a mate has gone that was too young and happy. No words could explain the feeling of loosing someone that was not meant to leave.

Tony made me a better person while he was alive. Now I will make the most of life and remember you as my best mate till it is my day. He made me laugh. He made me realise there is so much to loose and so much more to do. Be happy and move on family and friends. He would not want it any other way.

Thanks for everything Tony. I cant even think what it's going to be like moving on without my best mate. But I will always remember you, I will do everything I can to look after your kids and be a part of their life. I will try to give them the best image of you I can, to show them what you were like.

I can't forget.

Trying to move on with life

Almost a year on and the day I lost my best friend is haunting me. I feel like I am standing in the dark with a freight train approaching hoping that it will miss me.

The accident would not have happened if any one of the circumstances were changed, the fact is, nothing can be changed and all family and friends have to live life without a very happy, funny, loyal Father, Son, Spouse and Friend. I know all of us would go back and change anything, and the fact is, on that day, people did try to change the circumstances via phone calls,as they all wanted us both to ride back home under safe conditions. They all knew we were great friends and we would push the boundaries of safe. It was late after a long day, it was heavy rain, he didn’t have great eye sight in the best of conditions, that was something I didn’t take into account when we left the gold coast that night.

He was speeding home and got hit by a car who moved into his lane. If he was not speeding or the car didn’t move into his lane, he would be sitting here with me now watching two and a half men having a beer. Not to mention another 100 things that could have been changed on that night.

I have learnt so much in the last 10 months about myself. I still have nightmares and the flat mate says he wakes me up to stop me from crying/yelling about it in the middle of the night. Accidents happen and in most circumstances, its not one persons fault. It’s a whole range of things and I hope that with all the people that have lost loved ones on the road, they can learn to forgive people and what they have done. I think, chances are too much blame is passed onto people, and those people have taken on too much blame. After a year of seeing a very highly qualified person. I realized I was one of the people that took on too much blame for the accident and it destroys people.

Toady for the first time, I got the bike out of the shed and replaced some parts so that maybe I can re register it again some day and maybe enjoy a nice Sunday ride like I used to with friends. A group of our friends are coming to QLD that weekend in the near future to party and enjoy each others company. I think we all put our friends off from time to time to make room for other things. My advise is, make sure there is balance. I knew how special good friends are in my life, maybe only now do I know what its like to live without them.

I would like to thank all my family and friends for the support that is truly priceless over the last 10 months. No one really knows how to help, but they do what they can. Sometimes that is just saying nothing, sometimes it is saying too much, both are the support people need. More often than not, people should show the support by not saying anything at all.

I really don’t know how to put into words the affects of an accident where a loved one is lost. Im not sure it can ever be put into words unless it is experienced, but if I can pass my loss onto anyone that is a little reckless and get the message out that we all need to be more considerate and careful on the roads I would, just to save one person it would be more than worth the effort.

Scott.

TBC.

You will be sent to Jail

Having been a lawyer for many years, I have read, heard about or seen cases where adriving journey has turned into a criminal, jailable offence.

Victims have either been killed, brain damaged, lost limbs, permanently injured, or severely scarred. Drivers have ranged in age from young, inexperienced to mature adults with no previous criminal history and little or no traffic history; male/female; motorcyclists to truck drivers. If you think age, experience,gender or what you drive limits your chances of ever going to jail for a driving offence, think again.

A grief stricken truckie driving around the time of a family member's funeral and venturing into oncoming traffic.

The young driver texting who had done it for ages without any cause for alarm because they thought they had it all under control. They were capable of texting and driving because they had done it without incident so many times before and were not going to be swayed by the scare campaign.

The motorcyclist who thought he was really only a danger to himself but significantly injured another on a major carriageway when something unexpected happened.

The young brother whose parents begged he not go to jail for being the driver the night his brother got killed when they (the2 brothers)were both doing something stupid in a car.

Being the sober driver of a group of drunken friends, who decide to all pile into the one car, including one in the boot, and then hitting a power pole in the rain.

The drunken mother deciding to drive a very short distance to the local servo shop on mother's day, who lost control on a corner and hit and killed someone who was walking with their own mother and another family member.

The young mother who did not see the truck at a major intersection and turned into it's path, killing own child, who was then prosecuted and sent to jail, despite the pleas of her husband. No alcohol to blame, no mobile phone, no speeding.

The off-duty policeman who went with an acquaintance to an emptyindustrial state late at night to put a new car through it's paces, who in taking his turn at the wheel lost control and killed the car owner.

Whilst the dead/ injured and their families are innocent victims, so to are the family members of those who acted recklessly or dangerously.So in turn are those who then suffer with what theydid.This is not about sympathy for them, but about the reality that any driver on ourroads cantake action that puts them into this category. Theywere not criminals and were not always speeding or under the influence of alcohol.They comprise people who are aneighbour,a friend,arelative or even someone just like you. They experience shame, fear of police action, the anxiety of awaiting court, the hopelessness of avoiding jail and then loss of their liberty.They are put in jail with othertypes of offenders. They have limited space & personal possessions, wear prison clothes, face invasive body searches, have limited family contact. Jail is very different from their normal homelife. They never intended to hurt anyone, let alone kill. They hadin the past expressed disgust when theyheard on the news thatsome driver hadkilled or injuredinnocent parties.

So whatever you do, don't just read the stories shared and think how sad, or "well that driver was drunk/speeding". There are plenty of driving journeys, similar to the ones we take every day,which end tragically.A car can be a lethal weapon, can put you in jail in mere seconds, can burden you for the rest of your life. Driving is a privilege, not a right. Pay attention. Drive safely.

Why me?

I woke up to life in 1966, in a children's home at 6 years old. I don't have any memory at all about life before 1966. My eyes just opened up; and there I was in the children's home. You could say I have complete amnesia, about life before 1966. The only thing that has stayed with me is a "feeling" or "sixth sense" of being in a car accident when I was about 2 years old and hitting my head on the windshield. This feeling has been following me now for 44 years. All the hundred's of question's people have tried to ask all these years have had the same answer, "I honestly don't know." Last but not least, please don't let your babies and/or children go through what I went through. It is an awful feeling to wake up alone, scared, and never ever able to answer all the questions your mind throws at you. Buckle Up your babies and or children.

She was too beautiful to die

Boxing Day 2004 was a day to remember due to the Indonesia Tsunami. Little did I know it would be embedded in me for the rest of my life. I was watching the news when my mother called, telling me to sit down as she has some bad news to tell me. I heard the words "your younger cousin is dead" but it did not register. My mouth let out the biggest scream, my body started shaking and I remember thinking this has to be a dream. IF only it was.

My cousin was only 19 when she was taken from us. She had her whole life in front of her. She was beautiful, talented and full of life. She was an artist - did he know that? She was an aunty - did he know that? She was a sister - did he know that? and did he know that because his selfish actions he took her beautiful soul that fateful christmas night.The man that took herlife is a cowardand a selfish man.Her life was taken because man decided to get behind the wheel of a car drunkand reverse into a wall (that she was standing behind) andthe wall fell on top of her killing her instantly. Hehid from the police so they could not get an alcohol reading from him. All he got was a $700 fine and 8 month suspension he never got charged with her death as it was on private property. His family never stopped with the lies and they tried everything to get him off and it worked.

Her short life was never easy she was born premmy and had to fight for her life. Her mother was not a mum to her at all and my mother had brought her up most of her life so she is more like a younger sister than a cousin. She had to struggle all her life and then just when things were going good, her life was taken from us. I have struggled with her death. It has taken a toll on me as a person and it has changed me, not for the better, for the first 5 years after her death.

I have only now started to put photos up of her and I am learning to celebrate her and what we had of her and not to mourn her death. She would have turned 26 this year and all we have is a memory to say happy birthday to.

Demileigh Royle

My name is Paula, I've had 8 children. On the 16th May 2008 my daughter Demi was going to a local shop with her friend, her friends mum, and younger sister. When they arrived by the shop a van mounted the kirb and killed my daughter. She was 6 years old, he was drunk . My life since is not the same. I'm a diffrent person but i have to be strong for my other children.

Scrap of paper

When Reuben died in a motobike crash I was devastated. We had only meet a few monthsbefore but we clicked and he was that guy every woman needs in her life. I didn't even have achance togeta photo of him. A few years later I found the little bit of paper that he gave me when we first metwith his phone number on it. I didn't know I had kept it. It's all I have of him, a little scrap of paper with a number on it.

Changed Life

The 6thof October 2010 has been burned into my life as a day that all things good in my life came to an end.

I do understand that there are many more people that are far worse than myself and they are going through far worse. Just to describe what happened.

I was on my way home from work and a young 20 year old female went through a give way sign andT-boned me while I was riding my motor cycle. The bike was my hobby and my enjoyment every day. I loved to ride twice a day and it helped to give me relaxation. In essence it was my salvation from a turbulent world.

I laid on the road for about an hour and a half while I was stablised by the ambulance, I had two compound fractures of the leg and three further fractures of the same leg. My hand was crushed. The person responsible for the accident didn't offer any assistance and came up to me while I was on the road and simply said I didn't see you and then turned around and walked away. I must say there was two people who helped look after me until the ambulance arrived. I am so grateful for their compassion and help. I remained awake until I was transfered to the ambulance and then passed out and for the next 48 hours. After two operations totaling some 18 hours of surgery I was given some heavy drugs which numbed the pain and kept mefrom reality.

Since the operation I have remained an invalid. My life has changed irreverseablly and some of the things I feel are, uselessness, anger, sadness, feelings that I am in a horrormovie, inability to accept my situation, inability to talk to family especiallymy wife about what is happening. If I tryto talk to anyone I feel that I am burdening them with my problems and I don't have the right to do that. I feel that somehow itis all my fault even thoughlegally it has beenproven that there is no blame on me.

My relationship with my wife has become very distant. She works so hard and then comes home and has to do all the house work and then look after me. I sometimes wish that I had died in the accident. I feel that if this had happened then all whoare involved wouldbe over the grief - where now they still live the pain every day.

I relive the accident every day and am reminded of it by just using my hand and leg.

I know I must seem to be a whinger but what can I do. I have learned that there are so many good people who are willing to help and I thank them for that. I am trying to better my situation and will not give up!

I hope these words help and make some people thinkabout their actions and how itimpacts on others lives.

Regards,

Vince.

4 years on

I was involved in a head on car accident in October 2007, I spent 9 months in hospital and was not expected to survive, but I was young healthy and strong and I did survive, I have had numerous operations on my arms and my right leg.

Once discharged from hospital I went back to work on a part time basis, but got a bone infection and spent more time in hospital, I had a frame put on my leg and this was on for 2 years and was removed last June. I have now had another frame put on my leg to try and fix the breaks, I have not walked for the past 4 years and have relied on a wheelchair, to get me around. I have lost my job, my ability to do the things I used to do and rely on my son who is now 18 to help me around the house and to shower and get dressed.

Not only has this accident affected me but also my son and my family who have been my biggest support over the last 4 years. Itry and remain positive as I am still here and I have been able to see my son grow up into a wonderful young man, but this accident has changed my life and sometimes not for the better. I suffer deep depression at times and am on pain killers each day. I have never taken medication or been into hospital or at the doctors so much as Ihave in the past 4 years.

The accident was not my fault but that of the other driver who received no injuries and has returned to their life. They were speeding and lost control and hit me head on. It amazes me that people still speed even with the ads on tv and the information out there. People need to remember it is not the accident it is what the victim and the people they love go through long after the accident. I am one of the lucky ones I am here to cherish precious family moments and see my son grow up. We all need to remember SLOW DOWN as speed does kill and if it doesn't it causes serious injury that takes years for the victim to overcome.