The two boys in the back, my two great mates, they died

I’ve been in  a wheelchair for 23 years now. I had a car accident when I was 17, just 8 months out of school. A mate asked me to drive his car to a party and I said, ‘No worries.’ There were five of us, four guys and my mate’s girlfriend. When we got to the party I drank water and they got drunk. A couple of hours later we drove to another party. Half way there I had to go to the loo so I pulled over. We were in the country so I just went behind a tree. When I got back my mate who owned the car wanted his girlfriend to drive. I knew everyone was drunk and I was the only one who was sober. I argued with them, but the peer group pressure took over, so I jumped in the back. Two minutes later she missed a slight bend in the road. We were doing 160Ks at the time. We went flying through the air then rolled end-over-end for 150 metres and ended up in a paddock.

They didn’t find us for five hours. The two boys in the back, he guy who owned the car, and my other great mate,  they died. I broke my neck and bruised my brain, which has affected my speech. I was in a coma for 3 1/2 months and in hospital for four years. When I woke up all I could move was my left arm. I couldn’t walk, talk, eat. I spent four years in hospital relearning the basics. I feel ripped off sometimes. I missed the most important part of my life. When you first leave school, you go out, go to parties, and start work. Start doing adult things like drinking and having sex. That’s an important part of your life and I spent mine in hospital.
When you first get hurt, you’re lying in the hospital bed and everyone’s saying, ‘If you’d only done this, if you’d only done that.’ My mates said, ‘If you’d only come away with us that weekend.’ But it’s too late. Once you’re broke, you’re broke.
 

My sister was 14 at the time of my crash. Dad had to work, so mum stayed with me. So I took mum away from my sister at a really important part of her life. Deep down my family’s scarred. Mum and dad and my sister will never get over it even though it’s been 23 years. When they see accidents on TV it brings it all back. I do have some feelings of guilt. No one wants to upset their parents. They have big dreams for you. They want you to get an education, get a job, get married and have kids, have a good life. Then you stuff it up in one night. Your family would do anything to fix you, but no one can. There’s no cure. You just have to learn to live with it.
I shouldn’t have got back in that car. I shouldn’t have let her drive in the first place. But when you’re 17 you think you’re invincible.

I’ve been fully independent for a while now. I can drive, work, go to the movies. Go out for dinner. I do a lot of voluntary work for the Spinal Education Awareness Team. I go out to schools and tell those kids my story. People complain about work. About getting up early. I like it when I have a school visit first thing in the morning. When I get up and I’m driving with others cars on the road, I feel like a part of society.
Life’s good. I’m lucky.

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I went from a motorbike to a wheelchair